Why bully somebody?? Why not just be there friend?? I mean, bullying means guilt and shame, (if your not a narccasist) and possibly humility for yourself. Being a friend seems so much better... I mean, laughter, joy, and happiness comes from it. But, its up to you how you want your life to be, and if you chose the negative way, dont make others suffer. Being friends just make the world a better, happier place!! So, Ill be gour friend!!!
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
EUPD, PTSD, Recurrent depressive disorder
Since I was 11 years old (7 years)
I have tried psychotherapy and CBT and neither were very helpful for me as I didn’t trust the therapists.
My best coping strategy is to pretend like things are ok - people always say its unhealthy but a lot of the time I am so focused on looking like I am fine that I’m distracted from my real emotions and thoughts so it actually helps me sometimes. I also like to go out and put my headphones in with my music on full volume.
I have an absolutely amazing GP who supports me so much and who I am so grateful for and I have my best friend who has mental health problems too so she’s very supportive and we help each other in recovery.
They don’t but that’s because I don’t let them - I don’t tell them everything that’s going on and I protect them from the truth a lot so its hard for them. They are loving and brilliant parents but I would rather them not know everything.
I went from attending a private sixth form college five days a week, playing netball three times a week, playing rugby four times a week, volunteering, doing work experience, studying for university to suddenly having none of that - mental health ripped everything away from me and I was left in a psychiatric ward with nothing. Ever since then if I’ve even slightly been down people question if I need to go back to the ward. I feel like mental health has taken away my right to make judgements on my own life and put me in a cage where everyone else comes and stares at me to make decisions for me.
I see myself as a recovered mental health nurse who is working to end the horrid stigma around EUPD and I’ll hopefully be living on my own and living a full life free of the barriers my mental health currently places on me.
Jist so everyone knows.. this is not my story. This story belongs to an ammonymus friemd of mine.
When I was 3 years old I was sexually abused by my natural father. This carried on until the age of five when my mum kicked him out. A Number of years later when I was 12 years old I was contact again with him. However he and his new wife also sexually abused with me at that Age too.
As a result of this I had a very turbulent teenage years as you might imagine drink drugs dodgy relationships etc
When I was 19 I got arrested for drinking and driving and sent to prison when I arrived at the prison I was diagnosed with having mental health issues and placed on a poor copers wing.
When I go onto that when I found out that I would be in a cell with a convicted child sex offender this didn't sit very well with me as you might imagine
I saw red I went to myself I grab my razor I split razor put the razor blades out of it and then went up behind the guy grabbed in and put the Razor to his throat.
The prison team intervened however the guy didn't know where they cut to his throat. I am not normally a violent person however as a result of this incident I was sent to a high security hospital where I stayed for 14 years and it is at that hospital and I engaged in my trauma focused work
I undertook DBT first so that I come down as a coping skills that I needed to build to deal with the heightened emotions which would undoubtedly result from the work. I was very lucky that I was in an NHS establishment which hand a lot of funding.
When I engaged in the trauma work I found it so difficult I went to the first session and I nearly ran however the therapeutic relationship I had with the therapist enabled me to face my fears.
Fast forward and I have almost finished my pathway now.
PTSD and borderline are my diagnoses too.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Why do bad things happen to such good, loving, caring, warm-hearted people? I just don't get it. Its so scary. Why must the worst thi gs happen to the best people? Im trying to figure this out because i sure as hell dont want to lose anymore of my loved ones right now or see my loved ones hurt, either emotionally or physically. I know i just got to stay positive, but how do you do that when your in shock and confusion? Any imput?
Monday, January 16, 2017
Its been a rough few days for me. Found out some scary news about a family member. Which im not comftorable getting into detail yet at this point. Also, havig issues witj a family member understanding my mental illness. I have so many mixed emotions, its out of control. I just have to remember that God is with me and he is watching over me and my loved ones. Trials are hard, its the way you handle it, and i think im handling them pretty damn well. Im praying, im seeking out help from my support team, and im thinoin positive. For thkse of you who beleive there is a God, please keep me and my family in prayers!!
Sunday, January 15, 2017
What is your diagnosis?
Borderline Personality Disorder/ Chronic Depressive Disorder/ Generalised Anxiety Disorder
How long have you had a mental illness or became aware of it?
Have you tried therapy? What kind? Was it helpful?
I have tried generic councilling, which has helped to control impulsivity. I am six weeks into psychoanalysis which has been distressing.
What are some coping skills you use when your symptoms are happening?
Power walking/ listening to music/ reading
Do you have a support system? Family? Friends? Both?
Do you think your family understand your diagnosis/mental illness?
They try to understand, but don’t really grasp the severity of it and how it impacts upon every waking moment
How has your mental illness/diagnosis affeted your life?
Hugely. It is an fundamental part of me- I regard it as an additional limb. It’s a constant weight and presence. It was exhausting battle pretending it didn’t impact on my life, so I’ve reluctan tly accepted I have a serious, progressive, life altering illness.
Where do you see your self in 10 years?
I have no idea. I just want to live through today.
Do you have anymore questions for me?
> What is your first name ? Jessica
> What city/state do you live in? Traverse City, MI
> What is your diagnosis? Ptsd, BPD, anorexia/bulimia, General anxiety disorder, dysthymia, obsessive compulsive disorder, ADHD
> How long have you had a mental illness or became aware of it? Started counseling at 11, stopped eating at 9, first psych hospital at 14
> Have you tried therapy? What kind? Was it helpful? Yes. For the last 25 years, all kinds. Psycho retail therapy, dbt, eating disorder therapy, emotions anonymous, and residential treatment center
> What are some coping skills you use when your symptoms are happening? I try them but it all depends on my mood at the time, if I am already upset then honestly most coping skills don't work....it may be in my head but I'm no good at coping at all usually.
> Do you have a support system? Family? Friends? Both?I used to. My mom killed herself and my sister cut me out, but i have my husband and grandma.
> Do you think your family understand your diagnosis/mental illness? Yes most definitely, thank God.
> How has your mental illness/diagnosis affeted your life? I lost my first husband, my Kids, my job, ok multiple jobs, my weight fluctuates more then anything else. My current husband has gone thru Hell and honestly I don't know why he stays.
> Where do you see your self in 10 years? Hopefully still alive, happily married and full on in our business...